Monday, August 18, 2008

In search of balance

While I may pretend otherwise, the real purpose of this blog is to help fill time while I go through the post-graduate anguish called looking for a job. The irony is that I used to be a job counselor, "job search" is what I did--now it seems like such a chore.

I am lucky, and I know that. I have marketable skills. A legal degree for one. It is still too easy to be down on the whole prospect. I took the Minnesota State Bar Exam in July, and the results will be out in October, at which point I will be sworn in the the Minnesota Bar and officially be an "attorney." Between now and then, I am virtually unemployable. For those employers looking for any attorney now, I have nothing to offer, I can't practice until October and such a patient employer would be my dream come true. For other positions, especially part time positions that I might use to fill my time, I'm over qualified. On top of that, having taken the bar is tantamount to saying "hi, I'd like a job now, but in October I'll be an attorney the first "real job" I can get I'm outta here." So, like I said unemployable.

I have been told that this time off is a blessing. That I should relax, try to enjoy myself, savor the freedom from responsibility. These well meaning advisers don't truly understand my predicament. See, I thrive on being over-exerted. At least that is what I have been telling myself for the last 28 years as I try to be everything to everyone--and so far it has worked. Now, with time to relax, I find myself anxious, distracted and breaking out as if I were going through puberty again. One friend tells me that its the "law school toxins coming out" and while she may have a point, I think that it's my need to keep busy trying to tell me to get going.

I did relax for a bit, immediately after the bar exam my husband and I took a trip to Washington D.C. and, aside from the Supreme Court being closed for "modernization" we had a great time. Here is proof:

Me "having fun" at a closed supreme court, and a fantastic dinner at Zola.

I wasn't home for long before "what-do-I-do-now-itis" set in. For a while, keeping busy was easy. My husband and I recently purchased a house in Minneapolis, built in 1905, and there are no shortages of projects. I painted the sitting room on the main floor. After deciding I loved the color, I painted the living room as well. There. . . much better. Having already painted the dining room that left only the kitchen on the first floor that had yet to be painted. Unfortunately, it only made the kitchen look even worse. Well, there was only one thing to do, paint the kitchen. Hubby got a gift card to Menard's and I promptly spent it (with his permission) on ceiling and wall paint for the kitchen. There, that is done.

Then there was the matter of the "garden." I use quotes because I'm not sure that my rectangle of dirt filled with unproductive plants can really be called a true garden. The former owners built a slightly raised garden in the south west corner of the yard, unfortunately it is shaded by a giant maple and what we have begun to call "weed trees" for most of the day. Nevertheless, to make up for my neglect early on I am taking a more nurturing approach, watering consistently and weeding more thoroughly. I have plans to move the garden to the northwest corner of the yard after the first frost, it gets full sun for most of the day.

Two weeks into my "break" it has become painfully clear that I need to find an outlet to occupy myself, and you are now reading the result. Tune in to learn how I keep myself busy by gardening, cooking, decorating, reading, exploring and otherwise occupying my mind.

Thanks for checking out my blog.

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